I read a comment by Joe Martin (the world's most prolific cartoonist according to Guinness) that computers are good to have around because you can beat them when they screw up. I recalled my last Losedows-based PC. It died in 2002 as a result of a severe beating, which itself was the culmination of months of slow painful torture and getting kicked around. While I attest that this unfortunate computer's melancholic incompetence preceded my heartless beatings, the computer may have insisted otherwise, if I hadn't ruthlessly yanked its emotion chip on the day I got it. Either way, without the ability to emote, the tower would sway under my brutal ferocity, and the Losedows would crash, blue screen, explorer.exe has committed a fatal error. I'll say!
I feel slight remorse for my cruel treatment of that worthless silicon pile. So I imagined, upon reading Mr. Martin's sentiment, some sort of roly-poly, weeble apparatus in which to encase a computer so it could be beaten without sending it on a vicious and devastating downward spiral of poor performance. A boxing helmet for an old CRT, sparring pads that mount in a 3.5" disk drive port, something? I haven't had any luck, but I've also never had an original idea, so if anyone knows of the existence of such implements, please stick it in the comments. Gently, they're a little sore.Instead of computer beating bubbles, I found this ridiculous catshit-crazy idea.
Post scriptus, I have begun another blog in order to isolate my hapless attempts at writing fiction from the diseased content herein. Feel free to stop over there and leave some criticism. I hate my writing, but it's the only way I can seem to write. What are ya finna do?
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